Someday you'll need to stand tall again (emella) wrote,
Someday you'll need to stand tall again
emella

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Simon/Jayne firefly annoyance

Ok, I'm so annoyed, I'm trying to write some smut intermixed with like actual fic and it's totally kicking my ass. I can't help but think it's sounding like crap. Tell me what you think, here is an excerpt(unedited):

Simon unzipped Jayne’s pants and slowly began to shove them down toward the other man’s feet. Moving in a sexual frenzy, ripping off clothes and trying to maintain contact, they both were moving as fast as possible to feel skin against skin.

Jayne cursed when he hit a snag with some of the buttons on Simon’s button-down. Jayne just growled and tugged a bit too hard and buttons went flying.

“You’re such a barbarian.” Simon panted, pulling Jayne closer.

Jayne grinned, “You know it shao biaozi.”


Guh, it only get's crappier from there.
Tags: fic, firefly
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