Someday you'll need to stand tall again (emella) wrote,
Someday you'll need to stand tall again

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Supernatural - a fannish love letter

You know, I have been watching this show since February of 2006. I have lived so many changes over the course of these seasons that I can't even believe that it's only been four years. I feel like I've lived eons since I started watching, but it's been such a short time in the episode count. I have lived and loved and bled with these characters so many times that I can't even tell you how much this show means to me. I have watched every episode since Hell House live, and loved every minute of it. I have a fucking alarm built into my cell phone that goes off every Thursday at 8:13pm to let me know that I need to get home to see my show.

I will drop everything for my show because this story is more universal and amazing than any other and I can't not watch it. I have gone off to college, met people, lived my life, graduated college, and begun anew all over the course of this television series. This show has grown as much as I have and I can't begin to explain my love for it, but I'm gonna try.

The reason I started watching this show was for the slash fic. I'm a die hard slasher, and the first two seasons of Supernatural are like a slasher's wet dream. The Sam/Dean tension is so palpable everyone knows about it. EVERYONE. Later on the show becomes more rocky and although my love for the Sam/Dean pairing has never ceased the boys relationship became rocky and so did the fic.

In the last couple of months I've been very anxious about Supernatural fic. It seems like no one has been writing good Sam/Dean and I've been so longing lately for the old-school, feel-good, tension-free, wonderful, creative and beautiful stories that made me love these characters so deeply.

Although I have begun to read more pairings than just the obvious, I still yearn for the OTP of Doom. This show and these two people have this kind of palpably iron clad love that I can't begin to describe. The message over the course of the show has always been family and doing what's right, believing in yourself and your family and that is never more evident than in fanfic. We spend hours and hours and hours writing, reading, researching, and investing ourselves in these characters so that we have trouble remembering where we end and they begin.

This show has done more for me than any other story, ever.

I have learned to believe and love and hope through these characters and the fandom that believes in them as much as I do.

A lot of people talk about how there are a lot of misogynistic points of view on the show, but I never really felt that way, because I love it so much. We are all human and the characters on this show are all human (well besides Cas), and having these messages in the show doesn't really surprise me and if I had my choice I probably wouldn't remove them. The writers know the show and they know the fandom and more importantly WE know the show and the fandom. This show was not built on the amount of press or air time it got, but on the backs of it's fans. This show has grown and become amazing because of us and our love for these simple, sweet, righteously glorious characters. We have spent so many hours believing in our show and passing the word on that we have not only kept the show going, but expanded it for more and more and more seasons.

I have watched Supernatural for a very long time and if I had my choice it would never end. I would literally watch Dean or Sam live out a boring ass life every Thursday till the end of time because I love this show and these characters so much.

I am a Dean girl. I am a Dean girl like chocolate goes with peanut butter or the sky is blue. I am a Dean girl and I will never NOT believe in Dean. He is what I would want to be, if I lived his life. He is funny and brash, brazen and annoying, emotional and more than anything he is loyal and loves his family and his brother more than he loves anything else. My love for his dedication and soul-crushing secretly-hopeful self will NEVER waiver. I am a Dean girl and I have seen Dean go through life, shit being thrown at him left and right and he takes it. He takes it because of his love for his father and his brother and his belief that helping people and doing what's right are more important than himself.

Dean's love for life and freedom have only ever been topped by his love for Sam. He went to hell for forty years because he wanted his brother to live for all the things that he loves in life and continue on because he didn't want to see a world without Sam. The season five finale is like an emotional mind fuck for me because the sheer amount of love in the scenes shown during Sam's life-flash literally bring me to tears. Dean has only ever lived for Sam. Whether a familial duty or not Dean's life, hell his place in heaven, is with Sam.

Now as for Sam, well, I have watched Sam grow from an angry grieving kid in the Pilot into a brave and righteous man. He has gone through trial after trial until in the final moments of his swan song he becomes the person he was always meant to be. Sam grew out of this awkward little kid with weird hand me downs and a too-smart brain into a guy who believes in good so much, that even when he's been blinded into making bad choices he has the fortitude to keep on keeping on and try harder than anyone else to make up for those choices and do what's right.

Sam is a hero in this story, an every-man sort of hero that has lived as we all do with love and pain and hope and anger. He has believed in God and agreed with devils. Sam has literally fought his own demons time and time again to overcome his downfalls. He motherfucking DEFEATED SATAN! This character, this man is so wonderfully human that I cannot express how much he means to me. His life is a testimonial to the idea that we can triumph over anything, including evil.

They call Dean the righteous man in this story but Sam is the most noble, the most realistic, and the most relatable. The one who has changed and fallen and re-proven himself time and time again. Sam is not perfect and he will never be, but he only does what he can, just like the rest of us and that's all anyone can ask.

Sam has proven himself more to me in the way he's given in to temptation or grieved for Jessica or researched a case because he's just like us, he's human. Sam loves, and works, and learns, but most importantly Sam lives. He lives with Dean, on the road, helping people and hunting things. We've been told from day one that Sam is the archetypal protagonist, and as dumb as that sounds, it's true. He is what we all are, flawed with good intentions; human.

But this is not a letter about just Sam and Dean, this is a letter about the show, about the writers, the fans, the cinematography, the plots, the mythos, the bitching, the fic, the love, and the belief in Supernatural.

I have been in fandom for 11 years. In 11 years I have been privy to more than 20 different fandoms. Whether they have been TV or movies or books, they have all been different and unique. I have been in the Supernatural fandom since the first time I watched the pilot, and I am extremely glad I took the time to watch that episode.

I gained a LOT of friends online through this show, although I am sad to say real life has made me negligent of those friendships I cherish that I once had them.

There are no other fans on this Earth, no, no other people on this Earth, who understand what it means to be a fan like those in the Supernatural fandom. Whether you read or write fanfic is beside the point, because everyone likes to squee over the latest episode or debate the latest mytharc. This fandom is so strong and so believing in our show that we have moved mountains. Whether it was postcards to the cast or word-of-mouth to family, bugging online friends or posting on forums we expanded our fandom and made the show's fanbase grow.

We actually kept this show moving, kept it runnng, and drove it past season one, through season two, we fucking survived the writer's strike, and came back to the plate hungrier than ever to love our show even more. The creator of this show only envisioned five seasons but we demanded more because of our love for these characters and this writing. We are an epic force and even though we maybe aren't the largest fandom out there we are like the Spartans in our ferocity, tenacity, and belief in what we hold dear.

I am so proud to be in this fandom and I can't imagine my life without it.

The writing in this show was inspired by a man's idea, which was budgeted by studio execs who cast two fabulous actors who work with a great crew who are all supported by a fandom that works harder than any other group of people I know. We may not work on the show, or live in their universe but we're there. They listen to our feedback and work in our ideas (bodyswap!), they know about fanfic, and have stories about the more eccentric member's of our group. They go to cons to talk to us and thank us, they believe in us as we believe in them. Supernatural may be made up of hundreds of workers, crew members and such, but it's really an idea and belief that extends beyond just simple people, it is a love in a shared enjoyment of watching forty-two minutes of television each week, and spending another gazillion hours thinking about said 42 minutes.

This fandom could not exist without Supernatural, and Supernatural could not exist without fandom. We are mutually exclusively cyclically wrapped up together and as a member of the fandom side of things I can't express my love for the show more. Some people would consider all of the hours I've spent watching, reading, and thinking about Supernatural a waste of time, but I would not be the person I am had I not had those moments of thought, or creativity. If I had never been a part of Supernatural I would be a different person with different experiences and different beliefs. The messages on the show are only part of it, the ideas from other fans, and the ideas in fanfic, have also impacted me in ways I will never know.

Earlier this evening I watched the season five finale and was soul crushingly moved by it. I was stunned and shocked and my core was shaken that a show could invoke such emotion from me. I am an emotional person and Swan Song did a number on me. Even though I was unbearably upset, I am happy I felt as I did, because I could never have felt that way had I not loved this show as I do. I began thinking about my tears and hopes, my beliefs and I realized that this is all because of us, the show, the fandom, the ideas, and the 1 hour nine o'clock time slot are all because of the love that we all feel towards our show.

We are the Supernatural fandom who could not exist without being fans, and I am just a fan in love with a show.
Tags: episode reaction, fandom, flist, supernatural, tv

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