Someday you'll need to stand tall again (emella) wrote,
Someday you'll need to stand tall again
emella

Writing

Everything feels really off lately. I feel like I'm in some sort of dream thing. So much has happened in my life and I feel like I'm drifting away, lost in an ocean of uncertainty.

I want to start writing.

Before I went to school I had so many awesome ideas for books, but no real motivation or fortitude to just sit down and write.

Now, it's like I want to just sit down and write, but I don't have any clue what to write about.

I've spent the last hour reading over some of my old story starts and one of them I really like. It's a great way to start a story, but I don't know where to take it or what to do with it.

I feel like everything is a hindrance. Like this post is just completely nonsense.

Ugh. There is so much crap on my mind, and I have so much anger, but nothing really to do with it, or it's like I've blocked myself or something.

I'm getting angry that I can't even fucking just sit down and write. It's like my brain has left the building or something.

I am gone.

That's what it is, I feel like I'm missing. Like some unique part of me that is me is just gone. Like all of my idealism and hope for a better world and a better life is just gone.

I've been crushed and it's like I'm just now realizing it.

Fuck Proforma. FUCK the people who stole my hope.
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