You're this close to your place in the world.

I think I'm going to move to California. My friend Dana lives out there and I think it's a good step, a step in the right direction.

She lives in L.A. and I was thinking that I could transfer to an L.A. Blockbusters and work there while I look for a job out there. I don't know how exactly I'm going to pull it off, but I'm hoping once I tell my Mom she'll be okay with it and help me figure it out.

I'm terrified. I'm leaping without a sturdy safety net and I'm scared as fuck. What if this doesn't go right or what if I can't find work? What if no one hires me because I'm too fat or I speak weird? What if Dana is the same person she was when we were 14 years old?

There are so many things that could go wrong with this plan. There are so many ways I could fuck it up.

I want to live the life I know I can achieve, but I just have to have the will power to try.

I don't know what's going to happen, but I'm scared shitless.