I don't know what to do.
I feel like every project I've ever done, or every freelance thing or internship that I've worked on is all up in the air and it's looming and I feel like it's going to crash down on top of me all at once and smash me to smithereens.
I have this huge problem where I feel like everything I've ever created sucks balls. I absolutely hate it all and I've been looking at it all for so long that I haven't actually taken the time to look at it in a while.
I went to portfolio review about two weeks ago and this girl stole my portfolio theme and all of her work actually reflected the theme and like 90% of her stuff is fantastic with the other 10% being pretty damned good. I HATE EVERYTHING I'VE EVER MADE BECAUSE NONE OF IT IS THIS GOOD AND I'M NEVER GOING TO GET A JOB AND FUCK!
My life is falling apart.
I didn't get the good internship, because I'm a bad designer. I fuckign get too fucking nervous and come across as an ass and I FUCKIN FUCKING FUCKING HATE ALL OF THIS SHIT
WHY?! WHYRFEFIU;LAHF OWEF8W
GOD I'M SO FUCKING ANGRY AT MYSELF
WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T I GET ANY OF THOSE INTERNSHIPS?! WHY?!
I don't know what to do about any of this shit.
You know what's bad. It's gotten to the point where I have to plan EVERYTHING because if I don't then nothing will get done because there's TOO FUCKING MUCH and then I can't even plan everything because no matter how many lists I make I always forget something and I AM FUCKING SICK OF USING THE WORD FEEL. BECAUSE I CANT KEEP FROM FUCKING FEELING ANYTHING
FUCK THE SNOW
FUCK THAT ITS COLD I'M SO ANGRY I COULD FUCKING SCREAM
i was one of the best and now i dont know whats going on anymore
You know, all I ever wanted was to be the best and to be happy. I don't know what's going on anymore. I am one of the mediocre designers. One of the mediocre ones mediocre
I feel like there's this big thing inside me that is like so angry and sad and fucking PISSED off and I want to rip it out, just rip it out of me.
God what the fuck is wrong with me.
