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Supernatural - Castiel fresco

December 2010

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Thin vs. Outgoing

So I had an interesting conversation with the roommates a while back and the one roommate, lets call her Delilah was talking about boys. Delilah said that she wished she had a boyfriend, and I was agreeing and we got into a sort-of argument and she kept saying that boys like girls who are outgoing. I'm an outgoing person, and she's not, and her argument against me saying I couldn't get a boy because I was a fat kid was that I was outgoing. She kept saying, 'But you're outgoing.' or 'Guys like outgoing girls.' She was basically saying that it's easy to get a guy if you're outgoing and she was having trouble because she was so introverted.

I had realized it at the time, but I'm just now REALLY realizing how fucked up that conversation was. I was basically arguing that as a thin person you can get a guy and she was arguing that as an outgoing person I could get a guy. I mean talk about fucked up.

And the more I think about it, the more it makes sense. As someone who is a fat kid and extroverted, it would make sense to me that thin people would be able to get dates easily because it never occured to me that you have to be extroverted, because I already am. I know that if I were thin I would have a boyfriend like yesterday.

On the flip side, if you're a thin introverted person, all you can see is that extroverted people can get boy/girlfriends because you don't think about the thinness factor.

It's a very odd argument.

I just thought I would write about this because I was thinking about it...

Comments

Sorry I don't comment often on your lj and you maybe don't even remember how we met each other (on your BBM challenge community) but I'd like to comment your post because your point is really interesting.

I think the common point between you and your roomate is that although you are extroverted and although, she is thin, you both sort of lack self-confidence.
Because you picture yourself as a plump person, you think you are not really physically attractive. On the contrary, your friend probably think guys may not like some sides of her personality and that she is not mentally attractive. You both seem to think that if a person was extroverted like you and thin like her, she would be much more popular among guys.

I'm really not sure about that. That person may still find something to give her complex. Self-confidence is really hard to control but I think it is what makes you look attractive or not.
I often notice girls in the street that guys stop walking to look at. They are not often the prettiest girls but they have a big charisma. I think it is mostly due to the way they walk with their chin up and the way they dress. Men seem to like girls that know how to take care of themselves and that ignore them a bit. It shows those girls are independent, they know who they are and don't really need men. That is what men usually find attractive and that is still all about self-confidence.

I think it doesn't mean you have to change who you are, to look more feminine or anything. No, not at all. What makes who you are is the most interesting part of you because they are not two people like you. So you really have to be proud of what makes you be like nobody else. People will love you for your particularities and not for what you have in common with everyone else. Don't ask yourself too much question, don't think too much before acting, show the world who you really are. There will always be people to criticize you but you don't have to care. If they were good people - i.e if their point of views were relevant and devoided of any ulterior motive - they would not say that. So they really are not worthy to listen to.

I'd better stop here or you will get tired of my preaching. ;)
Yep, I remember you. :)

I understand what you're saying and I definitely agree with you. The lack of self-confidence is way more of an issue, and probably the reason why neither of us has a bf, among other things...

I totally get what you're saying and thanks for commenting, it means a lot to me that you took the time to respond.

Don't worry it's not preaching. ;)