Someday you'll need to stand tall again (emella) wrote,
Someday you'll need to stand tall again

Hidden Miscellanea

So I wrote some fic. :) Hope you like it, tell me what you think.

Title: Hidden Miscellanea
Author: Emella
Rating: R
Pairing: Xander/Spike, mentions Xander’s previous relationships.
Summary: Xander and Spike kiss.
Timeline: Probably early S5
Notes: umbralillium asked for impromptu making out. Hope I delivered.
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything but the plot.


It started off with hiding.

Almost all of Xander’s first kisses started out with hiding. With Cordelia it was a bug man, with Faith it was evil apocalypse-worshipping she-demons and Anya had kissed him the night of the Prom, hiding behind the school bleachers. She was so afraid someone would see them and it only occurred to Xander later that it was because she was 1100 years old, not because of him.

So it wasn’t a surprise when Spike and he kissed while in hiding. The surprise, though, was how damn good it was.

Cordelia had been fun, eager to feel the naughty high school lust that was their downfall. They spent time in broom closets and alcoves and hidden places where they could hide their interactions. The kisses between them were long and sloppy and ripe with suppressed lust.

The kisses he shared with Willow had been forbidden, even more than what he had shared with Cordelia. Quick hurried kisses that felt good because they were wrong.

Faith had been a quick blink in Xander’s life. Like the flip of a switch he went from virgin to not in minutes. Faith had kissed him three times and they were still somewhat of a blur to him.

Anya had been business-like and automatic. They had dated a few months; he helped her experience monogamy for a little while and she gave him some basic pleasure. Anya only kissed before or after sex, she didn’t really see the point, orgasms were much better. Their kisses were supposed-to’s and should-be’s. Things that normal people did that they felt they should, not necessarily something they wanted.

Xander had always felt that maybe something was wrong with him, or maybe his kissing. None of the girls he ever went for liked to stay with him. They all seemed to move on to bigger and brighter things, leaving him in the dust.

Spike though, Spike blew his mind.

Xander knew that Spike was a good kisser. Hell, after a century of it, anyone would be good. He had theorized that that was why Buffy had gone apeshit over him while under Willow’s ‘My will be done’ spell. Maybe in their little world it had started off with a kiss, hidden from everyone, angsty and hot. Maybe Spike had nibbled on her lips and sucked on her throat. Oh, maybe he had bitten her earlobe just like that. Oh! Up her jaw. Right there!

Xander shuddered and leaned in to Spike’s lips. He moaned low in his throat and brought his hand up to wrap around Spike’s bicep. The other arm was clenching and unclenching in Spike’s shirt.

It had started off with arguing, they bitched and moaned and generally pissed each other off because they were locked up in some stupid crypt because of a demon. Then the pheromones or hormones or just mones in general had gotten to them. They met in the middle of the old dusty crypt, like some classic spoof on long sweeping kisses from old black and white movies. Xander didn’t know what he was doing, he just knew that his brain had shut down and dear GOD Spike smelled good.

Tongue’s tangled and teeth scraped and it was hot and sloppy and fast. But damn, did it feel good.

Spike had pulled back and they had stared at each other. Then Xander dove in, meeting Spike’s lips in another sloppy kiss that rapidly became stiflingly hot. Despite Spike lacking body heat Xander was warm all over. His skin tingled and whispered and made him ache all over. His bones melted and his heart sped up. He could feel his blood pumping and rushing towards his aching cock.

Then Spike was pushing him backwards into the nearest wall and his hands were coming up to Xander’s neck. He slid his hands around, cupping his neck and the back of Xander’s head. Spike was sucking on Xander’s lower lip and his thumbs began to stroke gently up and down along Xander’s neck. He turned Xander’s face towards the ceiling and made his way lower. He nibbled his way along Xander’s jaw, down further and across his Adam’s apple. His thumbs brushed against the sides of Xander’s neck as he licked and sucked, leaving small marks of pleasure.

Xander registered a low keening sound, only to realize it was himself, moaning and mewling and whimpering with need. His eyes closed of their own accord, and Spike’s hand slipped around and down his shoulder, down further past Xander’s side and coming to rest on his hip.

Spike’s lips ran back up, along his jaw before meeting Xander’s in a slow, sensual kiss. Lazy and sexy and hazy and smoky, they met, leaning into each other, getting comfortable.

When Spike kissed him, Xander wanted to cry. He wanted to let his emotions go and just feel everything. He wanted to breathe in the moment and cling to it, holding it tight. He wanted to remember this kiss as he experienced it, a hazy watercolor of need, lust, and raw emotion.

His hands were clinging to Spike’s arms and his knees were weak and tangled with Spike’s thighs. Their bodies intertwined, moving and rubbing, pulsing and throbbing, fluttering against each other. Moving with the moment and their never ending lust.

Xander moved one hand down and around to the small of Spike’s back and gasped, breaking the kiss, when Spike arched against him, causing their cocks to touch. Xander’s eyes rolled back and he moaned low in his throat as Spike ground against him.

They were moving in slow motion, feelings and sensations went in and out of focus, blurring and sharpening as their lips sought each other out, as their bodies yearned for one another.

Spike brought his other hand down to Xander’s arching back as their lips met again. Xander sunk into the kiss, deepening it and making Spike moan this time. He in turn ground against Xander, rubbing along the lines of Xander’s weeping cock.

Their lips kept in contact, tongues dueling and whispering, moaning and fighting and dancing in a sweeping dance of lust as they felt each other out. Their hands roamed exploring and caressing more when a sensitive spot was found.

Xander felt as if the world had turned upside down and nothing would be the same again. The kisses with Cordy, Willow, and Anya and that little stint with Faith were nothing compared to what he was experiencing with Spike. Those kisses felt a million miles away, like a game you play as a child, wonderful at the time, but boring and pointless when you were older.

Xander felt older too. He could feel the air, electric and charged around them, dancing and singing against them. He could feel the years on Spike. He felt like he was experiencing everything with him, for the first time, all of the things Spike had ever felt were coming to him and causing him relive everything that had made up this moment. Like everything they had done led up to this moment.

Kissing Spike didn’t seem new, like he had never experienced it. It felt old, like something that was always there, like something he had felt before. Like something that was a part of him, belonged to him, longed for him, was him.

He felt as if they were caught in a never ending cycle; a wave of never ending need, crashing against them and moving through them. They yearned for one another; they were swept away with the tide and brought back together with the next wave.

Xander burned with Spike’s touch, his skin was on fire and he could feel their bodies searing with heat. Everything was coming into focus and the world was spinning before him.

Their kisses became more intense; caresses were rougher and gentler at the same time. The fire in Xander’s belly was burning brighter and they were moving faster. Kisses more frantic, and caresses speeding up as they found a worn and whittled rhythm that felt as if it had always existed.

And then Xander was coming. His whole body was shaking and quivering and his senses were exploding outward and he could feel everything. He could feel Spike and the passion that was burning through them faster and faster. He could feel his lungs aching from the need for oxygen and his hands screaming as he squeezed and pulsed and throbbed in his skin.

He slowly, slowly wound his way down and around his orgasm as he settled back into his skin. He felt alive and the world was speeding up, back to normal speed. His breath was coming hard and fast and his ears registered the little sounds around them; his pulse, his breathing, Spike’s breathing. They were panting and clinging together, clutching the other as if his life depended on it.

When they finally came back down, they broke away and then Spike turned to Xander. Xander smiled, bracing himself for the blow that would inevitably come. People tended not to smile before delivering bad news. No one had ever smiled before they broke up with him or told him goodbye.

He expected Spike to walk away and ignore him, maybe insult him or kick him to the curb. Spike might even threaten him, probably would. Spike would want to ignore what they had felt, or at least what Xander thought they felt.

So Xander smiled, like an idiot, hoping Spike got it over with fast.

Spike, however, looked him in the eye and just smiled right back.



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