Someday you'll need to stand tall again (emella) wrote,
Someday you'll need to stand tall again
emella

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Okay so...

I found out some good news on X-mas eve, Tiffy, my homie/ex-roomie/friend is coming to Columbus to visit me! I'm super excited. :D

In other news, Christmas was good, I got lots of clothes and a new printer which I need to exchange, a new desk which I'm considering exchanging, and some other stuff.

My mom really enjoyed her gifts, I made her a crocheted scarf which I think she liked the best. I thought she would really like these three little paintings I did, but I think she just kinda brushed them off. *shrug* I dunno.

I need to finish making Tiffy's Christmas present. I'm making her a hat and it's around half done. Hopefully I'll finish it by Saturday, which is most likely when she's coming.

In other news, my Grandma came to stay with us for a few days right before Christmas. She's 82 and her short term memory is going, and when she went to the doctor yesterday the doctor said that she should consider moving in with one of her daughters (Mom and I.) I think she's really angry about that. It makes me sad to think that she can't live alone anymore and when I'm around her and she can't remember simple things I get sad.

I see her a lot on break and stuff, but I get sad that she isn't the same person she was for all those years.

On Christmas, we were all gathered in one room and I was sitting next to Grandma on the couch and my aunt Mary Lou came over and looked around the room and said, "Look Mom, you created all this." Then I took a good look around the room and saw all of my aunts and uncles and cousins and their kids and spouces and I really looked at the 30-some people and I just got this feeling. My grandma created this family from nothing. She and Grandpa made it so that these 30-some people are enjoying Christmas together. I think for the first time in my life I understood what it was like to have family and to be able to appreciate it on Christmas.

Life is hard and tedious and you don't just step back and observe what you've done, but at that moment in time I realized what it must be like to be older. My Grandmother is getting older and her short term memory is going so it is hard for her to keep up, plus she's having leg trouble and everything is just sort of coming to a close as awful as that is to say, and on Christmas I just kind of realized what it must be like to step back and look at everything in your life and realize that no matter what happens, you've started something or created something or done something that will leave a mark on the world. Whether you've created the next great art piece or written the next great book. Whether you're involved in a huge scandal or you become the head of your company. Whether you become president of the united states or you start a family in some town in Ohio you can affect the world. My grandmother, just a farmer's daughter from Kentucky built a family and I can't even explain to you how much this means. You probably don't understand what it's like, but if you had been in that room and seen all those people talking and enjoying life you would understand how amazing that is.

As corny as it is to say, life is precious and I'm slowly realizing how much so.

I guess I can say my Christmas was.... good. :)
Tags: christmas, family, friends, general, holidays, me
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