June 23rd, 2009

Supernatural - Dean angsty

Bad Day #2

So I keep crying and getting emo.

Like I've been getting really emo and upset about school. I feel like my life has been ripped away and I have no idea who I am anymore.

I keep like randomly crying. My life is just gone and I have no place that's mine.

I feel like I have to live in my bedroom with all of my crap tons of stuff and I can't function. I have no purpose anymore and my friends are gone, my job is gone, my home is gone. Everything is just gone.

I feel awful a lot.

We were in the car today and I started to get upset and I was just like uncontrollably crying. Logically or mentally I'm like wtf?!? but emotionally I just feel sad and awful and listless.

My mom says that I'm grieving and I feel like that is the most retarded shit ever. I miss my life so much but grieving?

I keep trying to avoid thinking about the things I need to do. I feel overwhelmed and lost and like I have no control.

I was doing some research last night and I'm pretty sure I have Post College Depression. Whatever.

I don't know. I just want to avoid doing things or making decisions and live in limbo. I guess that's the biggest clue that I'm depressed, that and the crying. When I had depression in H.S. and Post H.S. I couldn't make decisions, but I don't remember this much sadness.

Whatever... just whatever.