December 22nd, 2008

Other - Xmas

Christmas time sucks

So I've just had a bad day. I bounced a check so to speak. I have no money for christmas. The one thing I really want, the only thing I want I'm not getting, and I have to buy people stuff that fuels the massive monster of consumerism and materialism.

I hate this. I hate hate hate it.

I'm so depressed and anxious and I freaked out in Barnes and Noble today and freaking cried in the car for 20 minutes because I'm like at war with my values vs. society.

Christmas is killing me.

On top of that I have this freelancing job that I don't know how I'm going to finish. I haven't started it, because I've been so busy with christmas. I hate this whole big crappy thing right now.