December 8th, 2005

Supernatural - Castiel fresco

Babble about wounded characters and perfection

I got this stuff from watching House(I always say great stories inspire you!):

Sometimes I wonder why I like 'wounded' characters so much. They seem more appealing than happy-go-lucky characters. Everyone has pain and everyone has scars, but sometimes the scar is more appealing than the wound. No one wants to experience a tradgedy or an abusive situation, yet the wounded characters in life are stronger and more experienced. I sometimes think it's because I'm not wounded myself. I know that's wrong though. I have memories or scars. Scars of bruises, hints of pain in my life. My issues with my father sting me and leave me defensive, that sick iron feeling in my belly that makes me quivery and blushing. I rush to ignore those feelings, I can't imagine what it will be like when I'm forced to face things just as painful, but more real. I had a psychiatrist once tell me, that when I'm ready to understand and get in contact with my father, that she would be there. She didn't even question my wanting to know what has happened to cause such a huge hole in my life. I get that hot fluttery nervous feeling when I think about contacting him, and I know she's right. I will always wonder, and most likely try to contact him at some point in the future, but her assumptions are what struck me. It has made me become aware of the way humans react and are curious by nature. We always dig deeper, we need to know what happened and what's going on. I think this is why I like wounded characters. I like perfection with a flaw, it makes it more real. Wanting to understand why it's imperfect makes it even better. I can't help but wonder why all the best characters are imperfect, and I guess it's because without knowing it, we all understand and accept imperfection as everyday life. Script writers write about characters with dark pasts, but that's part of human nature. To have no scars is to defy what it is to be human. There are no unflawed people, whether they are bruised or scratched or nearly killed by their experiences, there is no perfection and we all have scars. Wounded characters are more interesting, perhaps more human than we like to think.