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Supernatural - Castiel fresco

December 2010

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Mom and I had long disscussions about the past and the present and the future and who we are and what not tonight. It's always interesting when we have long talks like that.

I was looking at my old H.S. yearbooks and I am starting to look at school objectively and it's interesting how your views of people and things can change. It's just...interesting.

On another not, I weighed myself for the first time in 2 1/2 months the other day. I was sadly dissappointed because I had been eating low-carb and dieting and I only lost 11 lbs. Fucking 11 lbs. Mom thinks a lot of it is water weight and that I've gained muscle. Especially since clothes that normally wouldn't fit, have fit, and the belt that I got that didn't fit now fits. I dunno, she says ignore the scale and focus on how I feel but the numbers are still there.

I got a couple of my grades for summer quarter today and I emailed one of my teachers, because of the two grades I got back in his class, the final grade was less than both of those. I dunno we'll see what he has to say, but right now I'm feeling like crap about it.

I'm going to dye my hair soon, maybe in like a week and a half, I want to dye it red. Like bright really pretty red. :)

This break is going to fly by and then I have ucky gross math to deal with again and I have to work hard again next quarter.

I'm really kind of sick of working so hard in school. I hate spending 10 hours in the computer labs and then I end up getting a B on something and it ends up dropping my whole GPA. I fucking hate some of my teachers. I just wish I didn't have to work so hard. I don't get how some people can slap projects together, pull off a 3.6 GPA and be perfectly happy with everything. I mean sometimes I start to wonder if maybe my designs just suck or I'm doing something wrong. I mean I'm not even sure working this hard will pay off. I just, I dunno, I'm not sure if I have a good eye for design and I just don't feel like I get a lot of feedback on my designs. *sigh* And then there is the whole grades aspect and jobs and blah blah blah. If I'm busting my ass really hard right now, and I'm only in my 6th quarter and I'm getting a 3.9/3.7 GPA, what's it gonna be like when I'm in my 11th quarter and trying to balance internships on top of everything. I hate school so much sometimes... This post is starting to make me pissy and depressed so I'm signin' off, but that's my life for now. >:|
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