Someday you'll need to stand tall again (emella) wrote,
Someday you'll need to stand tall again

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Funerals and families

I just got back from the funeral a little while ago. Here is my weekend update.

Saturday Mom and I had dinner with my dad's grandparents. OH! But before I talk about that let me tell you that a few days ago I sent an email to my dad and asked him why he hadn't emailed me. He responded the next day. He writes like a boy and I don't think he knows what to say to me. Anyway, okay so we had dinner with my grandparents and my aunt and it was nice, they seemed kind of out of it... tired. They work a lot. I had some good conversations with Mom about my dad - who I'm not sure what to call. When I talk to mom I call him Steve, but I dunno it's awkward. I learned some things about him. Apparently he's a very direct person... a bit of an odd guy, but not bad. He just got out of the army - retired. My mom said that to really get to know him I should talk to him on the phone... that doesn't terrify me as much as meeting him, but it's new and a bit scary. Saturday wasn't so bad.

Yesterday was hard, we went to the 'Viewing' or whatever it's called for my Great Aunt and I burst into tears. Not so much because of my Great Aunt, but more because I kept drawing parallels with my Grandma. Yesterday was hard for me. Today was hard for my mom. My mom got upset during the funeral and cried, as we walked by the casket she cried really hard and hugged my grandma. She hides her emotions and affection, so to show them is a lot. I didn't really cry today, besides some watery eyes. My great aunt was baptist so I had to somewhat endure a preaching during the service. Some christians really annoy me. It's a funeral, not a conversion seminar or whatever. Apparently the service was nice though, from everything everyone else said. Nice for those who are christian. Although I don't have any experience in funeral so I don't know.

I wasn't really close to Mae, my great aunt, but I saw her every year and she died from diabetes at the age of 79. It's hard because I have a big fear of death of those around me, so when I start to go down the path of similarities I get emotional. My grandma also has diabetes, though she isn't nearly as bad off.

I think when I go back to school I'm going to try to eat healthier. Diabetes does run in my family, on both sides.

I've got a lot of crap to get done in the next few days, I have a lot of laundry to do and I have to sort through my stuff. I'm probably going back Friday night or Saturday. I get to move in all day Saturday... yay.

That's been me as of late.
Tags: college, family, general

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